don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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