arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
