R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
