I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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