Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
