I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
