Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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