wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
