yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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