Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
