My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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