It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
