You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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