I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
