areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He felt like a one man threesome
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
