She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
