He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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