she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
