Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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