Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
