; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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