I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
