What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
