As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
