do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
