Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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