I cut my penus on the lid.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
