That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
