I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
