the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
