I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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