They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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