There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
