I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
