No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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