She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
