I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Let's paint friendship bongs
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
