This girl is more easily done than said...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
