Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
