There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
