His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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