Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
