just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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