I love having hate sex.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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