Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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