ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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