we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
