I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
