That's when you crack a 10am beer
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and she was petting her beer can
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
