Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
