what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
