Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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