Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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